We need a “SENIOR INDEX”  indexing people over 65. There is a consumer price index for seniors and a S&P 500 stock index. Why not a single number published daily that would show how old people are doing?

How to index old people? An age index, so every morning I could track the number of people over 65. (This might be scary.) A death index charting those over 65 dying?  An obesity index for fat elders? Certainly a senior financial index charting net-worth, savings, income, and expenses of seniors. I would like to know each morning how seniors were doing. It would be the first thing I read in the paper. It could appear on CNN right after the stock market indexes.

The index should be simple; limited to  factors affecting people over 65; and have a base year. I like 2005 which was the year I turned 65. A search engine coud track the variables daily, apply a senior algorithm  and  come up with a number. I  would know how I was doing adjust my life accordingly and call my doctor/funeral director, if necessary; much as I do today when I see the S & P 500 index going up or down.

Tongue-in-cheek components of the SENIOR INDEX:

  1. Age
  2. Net  worth
  3. Savings
  4. Income
  5. Number with dementia
  6. Health
  7. Number with driver’s licenses
  8. Number of drugs taken
  9. Number of grandchildren
  10. Life expectancy
  11. Marital status
  12. Size of house

The components could be weighted depending on their importance to old people. I am looking for a number  like the stock market indexes. I want something new to obsess over. It would have exaggerated importance; and, would probably be meaningless. Someone would figure out a way to commercialize it; and then sell us something based on the change in the index.

A snapshot of people over 65 would provide guidance when those under 65 decided what to do about us. If the index went up/down laws could be passed raising/lowering social security, medicare and Medicaid. The possibilities are limitless.

I can’t wait for the SENIOR INDEX! What about you?