SHOULD THE GEEZER BE A PRISONER?

A photo of where the geezer might spend his last years. Better than the street???

The geezer seeks bank support for admission to the Federal Prison system.

In the US there are 26,200 prisoners over 65 in state and federal prisons and 124,400 over the age of 55.

The geezer, who is 75, and an “opportunist” is thinking outside the box; or perhaps ‘inside the box.” If I have no money, little social security, no home, no assets, no family; and  have to line up at the soup kitchen for meals and the free street clinic for medical care, maybe there is another way.

At 75, what do I need? My sex life is a thing of the past; there is no one to take care of me, I am frequently wet and cold; I am regularly exposed to every type of riffraff; and, can no longer fight off street predators.  How can I  live out my days in some comfort, be warm, eat regularly, and have  adequate medical and dental care?

The answer is to rob a bank.

The sentence seems to be 10 years plus an extra 5 years if you have a gun. I need to check to see if the gun has to be loaded; wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. The 15 years takes me to 90 which is about my  life expectancy  on a good day and I don’t have to0 many of  them. If I got in a fight or two,  I can avoid good time.

The big problem is that I might get probation since I don’t have a record; so, I might have to rob the same bank twice; or, even three times.

Given the economic and social future of the elderly, prison doesn’t sound too bad; and, it can’t be worse than a nursing home; even if I qualified. If you can’t pay, Medicaid is the only answer. Assisted living is out of the question without money or long-term care insurance.

There is probably a downside, but I am having trouble seeing it.

The food can’t be worse than most senior institutions. If I have a room(cell)mate, he would probably be about my age. I would probably be in some sort of minimum security facility, but, given the gun I might be in a maximum security facility.  The friends I would make would probably be better than the ones on the street.

Would I be safe? Probably. I am sure that most Federal Prisons take care of old people; albeit, reluctantly. There are work programs in most institutions and perhaps I could care for other old people if I couldn’t get assigned to the library. Win-win.

The New York Times has an article on California state prisons that have caregivers called ” gold coats.” These are inmates, usually murderers, who in exchange for a “gold coat,” and other privileges, look after the elderly; especially those with dementia. They protect them from the other prisoners, get them food, make sure they don’t fall; and, in general act as highly trained caregivers. They sound better than some in nursing homes I have visited.

Do I want to go this route? I suppose it depends on how cold and hungry I get; and, if I am competent to rob a bank when the time comes.

Or, maybe it would just be cheaper and better to move all of us old prisoners and “Gold Coats” to the “abandoned” military bases where they are keeping illegal immigrants.

THINK OLD!