AGING IMPOSSIBLE! – redoing an old person???

The geezer outside the box.

Geezer Impossible

Restaurant Impossible is one of my favorite TV shows, so of course it got me thinking. Why couldn’t Robert, or someone like him, come in and redo me?

Like the  restaurants on the show, I am a mess after 75 years.  I am out of shape. My finances are a mess. I don’t even know what all the pills I take are  for.

I am in need of redoing!  I need to be rehabbed. So, I wrote to Geezer Impossible and offered myself!

I am out of date; although a plus is that I have donated all my stained, checkered pants with zippers that don’t work to Good Will. I now wear  relaxed fit jeans. Not much of an improvement, but a start. Gentlemen’s Quarterly (GQ), I am not, yet….. And, the fifty’s may come back.

I need a team to come in clean me up, shape me up, revise my life style, perhaps come up with a new style or at least a theme. Make me a modern “old man.” Are there “theme” old people?

Robert could meet with my family, friends, advisors, etc.; find out what they were doing for me, put them on notice that they need to shape up, then go to work on me.

He could have a group of experts; perhaps  a doctor, a financial planner, a lawyer, a geriatric shrink and of course a dietician.

The result would be a new old man; with a modern theme. Instead of walking me through the door of a restaurant, Robert could walk my family through the door of my new living space and show me off. They could all marvel at how old people could be rejuvenated.

It might be necessary to do a series of old people makeovers to determine if this was a viable process. Data is important; and, of course we would need follow-up. How long could I endure my new theme.

The redo might  be franchised. Old People Impossible, make overs for those over 75. Maybe even a TV show, preferably in the late afternoon, with  wine.

After writing this, I woke up!

taking-nap-old-man-open-mouth-his-bed-40203864

Geezer awakens!

THINK OLD!


ADULT EDUCATION PROGRAMS – 10 sites for seniors

ADULT EDUCATION is the best part of aging. Whether for pleasure or to understand your daily activities, you need to make use of the sources available to seniors. An added bonus is that most aging studies encourage you to keep your mind active and to be involved. This does not mean TV; this means developing an interest, searching out the sources  and gaining expertise,i

This blog was written as part of a University of New Mexico Continuing Education six-week course.

Adult education,

UNM Blogging Classroom

The course is: Blogging Your Way to Writing Success. It met once a week for two hours and was taught by an excellent instructor who is a professional blogger, journalist and writer. The cost is $75 and it meets during the day so you don’t have to worry about driving after dark. Parking is easy. The students are my age or a bit younger. It is a non-threatening course.

What other courses are there for old people? The following list is a list of courses in or near Albuquerque.  If you click on the underlined word, you go to the web site for Albuquerque. Use the “search” terms to find classes near you; or make up your own search terms. Every town has classes, even if it is only the Historical Society of  Villisca, Iowa. Any town you visit can give you a learning experience.

Either click on the underlined word/s or search the words listed.

  1. Oasis    Search:    Oasis.org + your town
  2. Osher   Search:     Osher + your town
  3. UNM Continuing Education   – Search: Community colleges or continuing education + your town
  4. University of New Mexico  – Search: College or university + your town
  5. Coursera  – Search: Courser.org
  6. National Parks  New Mexico – Search: National Parks – lectures or classes + name of park
  7. Albuquerque Public Library  – Search: Library + town
  8. Meet up  – Search:  Meetup + town
  9. Groups like genealogy society, camera clubs, historical societies, Friends of the Camino de Santiago etc – Search:  key word + your town.
  10. Senior Classes – Albuquerque  – Search: senior classes + your town.

Drop by any senior center for a list of their classes, trips, books, cheap food and information.

This is only a short list. The trick is to search the name of the town and what you are interested in.

This is how you should live and travel.

THINK OLD!

 

 

 


ROBOT CAREGIVER FOR OLD PEOPLE

 

TIME FOR THE GEEZER’S SHOT!

I have been reading a lot about robots and old people lately. We have a surplus of old people and a shortage of caregivers.  Is a robot caregiver the answer? At 75 future care is a constant thought; for me and for my friends. I thought about a robot in my future  over coffee on Tuesday morning. Like most of my thoughts, these are irreverent.

  1. A robot changing my diapers. Picture me, lying on a bed, naked from the waist down, with a robot, wiping me and putting on a new diaper. How would a robot hold me in place? It’s bad enough changing a baby, imagine a robot changing me! And, don’t forget the security camera that the robot is required to wear is going all the time.
  2. Could the robot identify strangers who came into my home? Then what?
  3. Could a robot prevent falls?
  4. A robot could probably take my vital signs; a smart phone can do that now with a little help.
  5. Can a robot cook? Thaw and heat a meals-on-wheels selection? Probably.
  6. Clean? I hope so.
  7. How will a robot react with other people around?
  8. Will a robot like my dog? Will my dog like the robot?
  9. How much would it cost to make my home robot friendly? Could I find a place where the robot couldn’t find me? If so, it would probably dial 911.
  10. Could I short-circuit a robot? Probably it would dial 911 if I did.
  11. What are the ongoing maintenance and repair costs of a robot?
  12. What are the costs of monitoring the robot and maintaining a call center to deal with calls from the robot?
  13. Would a robot scare me? Think of Hal 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey – before the time of most current robot designers.
  14. Could a robot bathe/shower me without drowning me or short-circuiting the robot?
  15. Heavy lifting would be plus. A robot could save a lot in workman’s comp. claims or the necessity of hiring two caregivers for someone of my weight.
  16. Theft. Identify a stranger? If the robot was stolen, we could probably locate it using our i-phone.
  17. Could the robot take the place of my geriatric psychologist; listen to me, counsel me?
  18. Could the robot provide comfort to me when I slip into Alzheimer’s? Or would I have to have two robots?
  19. Paying bills? Is my robot trustworthy?
  20. The robot could probably sign in to Skype and give my kids several views of what I was doing at any given time. It could also provide a security video that was not erased for thirty days and which my kids and my doctor could access along with a running record of my vital signs, urinalysis results, weight, diaper changing, etc.
  21. The  robot would be perfect for the new driverless cars.
  22. The robot could dial UBER.
  23. The robot could get together with SIRI and order anything I needed.
  24. The robot could exercise me; whether I wanted it or not. Picture a robot designed to exercise me; and, me, not wanting to exercise.
  25. The robot could be programmed for Robot Assisted Suicide; however, this might violate the First Law of Robotics.
  26. The robot might have a copy of my advance directive and not consult with me.
  27. The robot could file my taxes.
  28. If I have Alzheimer’s; can the robot deal with that? The robot is very logical; I would just be street-smart.
  29. How would the robot deal with my girl friend? Could I program it to stay out of the bedroom?
  30. If I needed surgery, could the robot do it?

The above are just the thoughts of an old man who might be a perfect candidate for a robot caregiver. Most people don’t realize that they are old until suddenly they reach the “tipping point” at which time, they are there.

At least, I have a number of ideas for future blogs. So, stay tuned.

Maybe I should just go with a therapeutic robot from Parorobots.com to pet:

 

Robots, not caregivers, helping old people.

A comfort robot instead of a comfort dog for the elderly in Japan??

THINK OLD!

 


20 RETIREMENT LIVING IDEAS FOR OLD PEOPLE!

Today, old age requires creative thinking, planning and help. There are fewer and fewer do-overs; this is it. I will consider some alternatives; but mostly I will suggest that you think outside the box. As long as you are competent you should exercise your ability to be creative. Use these ideas as a starting point! Where will you live? What choices will you have?

Assisted living, nursing homes, senior housing

IS THIS YOUR CHOICE FOR OLD AGE?

The possibilities are endless; however, there are 5 basic  parameters:

  1. Physical and mental ability.
  2. Cost
  3. Care needed
  4. Location
  5. Social network, including family, religion, organizations, and other groups.

Take a look in the mirror. Who do you see? Make sure that your mirror reflects you, not the you that you wish you were.

Now for the fun; and, again, THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.  In the future, after you have had tIme to think about this, we will deal with each in a separate blog. With any luck these LIVING IDEAS will offend some of you!

  1. Stay in your home and share
  2. Charitable Trust
  3. Monastery
  4. Prison
  5. Care giver – life estate
  6. Homeless shelter
  7. Watchman
  8. Group home
  9. Private non-profit assisted living home
  10. Charitable trusts
  11. Squatter
  12. Old mobile home
  13. Small town
  14. Camp ground
  15. Public space
  16. Trailer on school grounds
  17. Tiny house community
  18. Move in with family
  19. Live on the street
  20. Do nothing

THINK OLD!

 


OLD PEOPLES’ FEARS – GEEZER’S TOP TEN FEARS

FEAR is part of growing old.  As my granddaughter said: “Grandma, sometimes you have to face your fears.”  Most fears can be dealt with. Remember: if you have a fear, someone has a way to make money  out of it; and. it will be your money. Most  fears either can’t be avoided or have a simple solution. Be  proactive and accept the fact that you are old. Think about what might cause you trouble. Plan ahead, but let’s face it, most of us won’t.  This blog is devoted to ideas to  make your old age an adventure. I am one of you.

1. Dying

Every medical expert agrees that more than 98% of people die. Some even say 100%. What makes you think you will be different. Enjoy life; there is no percentage in focusing on dying. Whatever belief you have, it’s going to happen. Treat “old age” as a new adventure. Is it really any different than any other stage in life?

2. Falling

Falling is the curse of the old. Keep physically fit,  have grab-bars, use a cane, get rid of clutter, remember you are old and be careful.  Don’t let your ego get in the way of a fall. You may still fall, but the odds will be reduced dramatically.

3. Dementia and Alzheimer’s

The beginning is the worst; you know about it, refuse to admit it and try to cover it up. The end is someone else’s problem. In the meantime do your best to minimize the effects. Exercise, diet, get an ID bracelet or a GPS bracelet. Keep up with the research.

4. Running out of money

Nothing new here. Live beneath your means. You have to be smart to live well if you are poor. The same applies to old age; you need  to be smart to live well while old. You are smarter than you think you are; you just need to apply yourself. There are more deals for old people than you would believe; but, again, your ego may get in your way.

5. Falling or being injured when away from home

Carry a cell phone with three telephone numbers coded in under ICE (In Case of Emergency). Use ICE 1, ICE 2  and ICE 3 in case the first two persons  are not available. Carry ID. Have emergency evacuation insurance. Use a bracelet to indicate any special medical conditions. Don’t stop traveling or going out just because you are afraid.

6. Moving into a long-term care facility

Have long-term care insurance just in case. Think of it as going to college and living in the dorm. Be active. Try and avoid it as long as possible. Be creative. Maybe you could move in with someone else. And, it probably won’t be your choice.

7.  Having no friends or family when you are old

Plan ahead. Go to church. Use senior centers. Make it easy for people to  be around you. Don’t be obnoxious or know it all. Take care of someone. Have a pet. You can meet a lot of people walking a dog; and, besides it’s good for you and the dog.

8.  Pain

It comes with the territory. Exercise, weight loss and diet will probably help.

9. Forgetting

Carry a notebook. Carry a tape recorder. Write on your hand. Reduce daily activities to habit. Have a friend remind you. Post-it notes on the fridge.

10.  Some yet to be determined disease or injury

You are going to get something, you just don’t know what or when, so…… When it happens, make the best of it. Find a support group so at least you know what is going on and can see how others handle it.

These are just a few of the fears that will haunt you while old.  Most of the answers are simplistic and you have heard them before. Prepare for them and forget them. Remember to question everything I say and get expert advice from professionals.  Share your thoughts with us.

The important thing is to think outside the box;

Think outside the box!!!

Think outside the box!!!

 

THINK OLD!

 

 


TEN THINGS TO OUTSOURCE WHEN YOU ARE OVER 75!

There are some things old people should not do for themselves.

At 75, the geezer found a task he should outsource. –

Outsource is a business term whereby certain activities are contracted out to other businesses or individuals. The reason is that the task can be done cheaper, safer or better by another and it allows the outsourcer  to focus on its primary task.

This can be applied to old age.  At 75, due to physical and mental problems, it may be cheaper, better and safer to have certain tasks outsourced. It may even turn out to be life-saving if you decide to climb a ladder and clean the leaves out of the gutters instead of hiring it done.

At 75 you need to think about what you can outsource and what you can do yourself.

Ten things that you might consider outsourcing:

  1. Anything that requires a ladder, a stool or standing on the couch to fix.
  2. Driving
  3. Medical advice
  4. Paying bills – you can outsource with automatic payment plans, an accountant, or a kid.
  5. Legal advice
  6. Shopping
  7. Investing
  8. Charitable donations
  9. Repairs
  10. Care

The list is not complete. You should modify it according to your needs. Old people are stubborn. They think that they are more competent than they are. They think that they can still do things, that they can’t do. The result is that they frequently injure, kill or bankrupt themselves when with a little outsourcing they could continue to live happy,  productive lives.

The most important part of outsourcing is KISS. (Keep it simple, stupid.)

THINK OLD!


TEN SIMPLE HEALTH TRICKS FOR GEEZERS!

I read a lot about elder health. I get a lot of ads and a lot of  advice. When I put it all together, I come up with about ten things that I should, and can, do. These are almost universally accepted, free and as near as I can tell, will do you no harm and probably a lot of good.

The amount of each of these that you do is up to you. Even a little bit helps. You can add to the list, but then it becomes cluttered.

How and when you do them is up to you.

A 3 x 5 card is all that is needed as a basis for a healthy old age.

The geezer has reduced 10 basic health tricks to a 3 x 5 card.

The whole idea is not to live longer, but to live better.

  1. Walk
  2. Sleep
  3. Drink water
  4. Drink wine, not too much
  5. Relax
  6. Have friends; be a friend
  7. Think outside the box
  8. Avoid processed foods
  9. No clutter
  10. Yoga

THINK OLD!

And watch as I attempt to reduce old age to a series of  3 x 5  cards.


SENIOR PROBLEMS: THE geezer’s DOZEN and THE MAGIC 7!

Planning for problems!!

Planning for problems!!

Life is a series of problems; and, problem solving. At 75 you are faced with a unique set of possible problems. These are problems which you might not have the time or the ability to solve after 75. You should be aware of them. You should plan for them; or, at least think about them.

Alzheimer’s is the worst. Not for the geezer. If he gets it, it slowly becomes someone else’s problem. The geezer really won’t care once he has gone beyond the initial stages. However,  I can plan for it and for other problems.  A more difficult problem is a spouse’s dementia. It defies logic; which says it all. It is not rational; and, is impossible to deal with.

 

The following is a list of twelve problems that I have found unique to a post-seventy-five life. These are problems that I worry about. The list is not complete, but is a base to work from. They could come at any time, but seem more unique to old age.

  1. Dementia/Alzheimer’s in a spouse
  2. Serious illness; you or your spouse
  3. Death of a spouse
  4. Elder scams and fraud
  5. Falls
  6. Blindness/deafness
  7. Loneliness/isolation
  8. Insecurity/fear
  9. Transportation
  10. Clutter and too many possessions
  11. Care – medical, home, companion
  12. Financial problems
  13. Transition to Alzheimer’s – The period from normal to “late stage”  Alzheimer’s

ARE YOU READY?

The following  magic 7 are essential:

  1. Advance Health Care Directive
  2. Automatic bill payment
  3. A mentor; or someone, preferably a kid, to keep an eye on you and advise you; with a Power of Attorney
  4. A living trust, if you have sufficient assets
  5. Experience with alternate transportation: buses, Uber, senior transportation systems, neighbors with cars.
  6. A social cohort; a group of people, about the same age, that you contact regularly
  7. Third party notifications on bank accounts, stock  accounts, etc. when an unusual, or non-authorized event takes place.

THINK OLD!

 

 

 


CHARITABLE DONATIONS OR geezer’s SELF-SERVING REDUCTION OF CLUTTER AND TAXES?

Look around your house. You could almost be on one of the TV clutter shows. You trip over stuff that you haven’t seen, much less used, in the past 50 years. Most mechanical things you don’t even know how to use. And, where can you buy film for one of those old cameras; or get it developed?

I have switched to jeans, so have no use for all the stained, checkered pants with zippers that don’t work that I inherited from other old male relatives. The style is not coming back. And, how many three-piece suits that don’t fit do I need? And, of course, with cremation, there is no need for a suit to be buried in.

Your kids don’t want your stuff; and, you can’t even get your spouse to take it in the divorce. It keeps piling up.

Look at the bright side. You still pay taxes! If you pay taxes, you get deductions including charitable contributions, so….. Let’s donate the stuff.

Old cameras and cell phones to be donated.

Old cameras and cell phones to be donated.

You need to find a 501(c)(3) charity that accepts used goods. Your donation is tax deductible. My wife and I use St. John’s Thrift Store in Albuquerque or Assistance League. You can search the internet for a charity near you. You haul your stuff in, they take it, sort it, and sell it cheaply to support what they do. They give you a receipt that doesn’t list what you donated; that’s for you to fill out.

It is a win-win-win solution; some clutter is gone; you have done a good deed; someone gets to put your  junk to good use; and, you can deduct the value of your donation from your taxes.

How do you value this stuff? Even though the non-profits can’t value it for you; and, you really don’t want to know what they think it is worth, there are on-line lists that will help you.

Salvation Army

Goodwill

Bankrate

Vandreel

And, what does the IRS think  about all this? No problem as long as you follow the rules.

It is easier than a yard sale; you won’t trip and fall over the stuff; and, you can reduce your taxes.

Try it; but, remember, you are not getting any younger. Donate while you can still drive to the thrift store.

WARNING! A thrift store is a dangerous place. I found a great denim jacket for $8 and several paperbacks for a quarter each. I was intrigued by a number of things I hadn’t seen for years. I may go back with my tax refund.

THINK OLD!


TEXTS FOR SENIORS – a new, OLD, way, to learn

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64 years ago I joined the Boy Scouts after being a Cub Scout. To advance in rank I had to earn merit badges, which I did; learning many interesting and useful things. Now at 75, I have rediscovered Merit Badge Pamphlets. They are even more relevant today.

I had no interest in genealogy at 11, but at 75, I am interested in my pre- Boy Scout roots; and, a good starting point was the Genealogy Merit Badge Pamphlet.

Pick a topic you are interested in. Then look for a Merit Badge Pamphlet. Ten sample topics out of 160; each selling for $4.99: Basketry, Wood Carving, Robotics, Dog Care, Pottery, Gardening, Fishing, Archeology, Programming, and Bird Study.

They are a source of useful information and just as they did 65 years ago, can lead to many new adventures; or, at least hobbies.

They will also give you conversation topics with your grandchildren.

THINK OLD!